Do you ever wrestle with feelings that you are not enough? Do you feel like you should do more in an area of your life? Perhaps you may think: I am not smart enough, healthy enough, or strong enough. I deal with these feelings on occasion…this week similar thoughts were rocketing around my brain until I was concerned they would do some damage.
As I thought about this further, I wondered,
“What is ‘enough?'” and “How will I know when I have reached this goal?”
It’s an elusive goal to achieve, for “enough” might always mean “just a little more.” In our culture, there is a pull to be busy, productive, and professional. I think this drive pushes us to feel like we aren’t measuring up. It’s this push to produce that leaves me feeling that though I don’t know exactly what I am supposed to be doing, I want to be really good at it.
To make changes and grow is one thing, to push and produce because we feel we are less than is something all together different.
There are various reasons we might not feel like enough. One reason is our obsession with comparison. Comparison shows its nasty head in my life when I think about how I am one of the only women I know who doesn’t earn an income. Oh, I have dabbled since becoming a mom. I sold books on Amazon, took Lera with me to work at our town grocery store when I was pregnant with Mitch, and baked desserts for our little store restaurant. These were all short stints where I earned a few pennies. My friends have “real jobs” like hair dressing, photography, book keeping, and jobs in the medical field. When I compare myself to what I see my friends doing, I feel that my role as homemaker and mother is not enough. The nagging feeling that I don’t measure up is uncomfortable, but more than that, it is dangerous. The reason I say it is dangerous is because the feeling that I am not enough because I don’t earn an income for my family is a lie. Believing this lie may lead me to make decisions that won’t best serve my family and me. I’m doing the exact work I’m called to at this stage in my life.
We don’t need to be comparing others’ lives to our own. Let’s learn from them, but not weigh our worth on how others’ lives appear.
Perfectionism is another problem that can lend a hand in the less-than-enough feeling. Not only are we pushed to produce, we are pushed to produce perfectly. After completing a task or assignment that will be reviewed, isn’t it hard taking criticism or correction? If you are like me, you don’t like making mistakes. The thought that I am not enough because I keep making mistakes is also a dangerous lie. We can replace that thought with this truth: we are learning and learners make mistakes.
What if we asked different questions? Instead of “am I enough?” we could ask “Is what I am doing serving a meaningful purpose?” Also ask, “In what ways can I better use my time?”“Is my rest time restorative?” “Am I living in the middle of what God has planned for me?”
Answering these questions can focus our minds in areas to grow and build ourselves up.
Don’t allow the pull to be busy or look like someone else make you feel like you don’t measure up. Instead of asking if you are enough, ask if what you are doing is serving a purpose. My hunch is you are working hard right where you need to be. And if we need to change, asking powerful questions can help us make that pivot. The small things you do each day, whether seen by many or few, are meaningful.
One last truth: you are designed to be you. This means you are enough.
-Kassie Joy
