Dear Friend,
It’s a normal Tuesday afternoon… except that it isn’t, I have a snatch of time to myself. The older two kids are riding on the combine with their uncle. I just got back from dropping them off at the milo field and I gave Nora a sippy cup of milk and read to her Goodnight Moon again (she likes to find the mouse hidden in the illustrations). Then, she took her afternoon nap.
You know how it is when you have an hour of alone time: what shall I DO with this rare opportunity. My ideas included: sitting down to read, washing some windows covered in hand prints, getting outside to clear the iris bed, and writing to you.
I chose you because we need to catch up; I miss you. Of course, I would still feel this way if I saw you yesterday. It’s the way it goes with my friends – I like them. There is no such thing as seeing you too much. I like you.
I have been thinking about friendship for months now. I wanted to write about it for my blog. Yet, the words wouldn’t come. There was a time that I sat down to write about it and pages of journaling resulted. That day, I needed to write myself to a place of forgiveness with a friend who hurt me. It’s hard isn’t it, when someone you care about hurts you? Friendship isn’t easy. It’s like marriage and parenting – friendship grows us, nurtures us, and sometimes makes us want to throw in the towel. Yet, here we are. You and I are in it for the long haul and we have a rich history and hopeful next chapter.
Gratefulness fills my heart because we are friends. Even though our friendship doesn’t much look like sitting on the porch with iced tea (but there is always an invite if you do want to porch-sit and sip tea). It’s nice that we have something in common. I also appreciate how different we are… it’s helpful to see things through your eyes. When you share about your perspective and concerns and highlights, I learn more about you. In learning who you are, I learn about how life works and how God creates. Thank you for sharing your insights. Know: I’m here for hearing about the mundane moments and little beauties. We aren’t friends just for the highlight reels.
It’s sometimes difficult for me to know how to be a friend. Sometimes I feel like I’m “too much” and wonder: “Should I send a card? Will they feel like they must send one back?” or “Can I offer to help and they feel they can accept?” There are plenty more days I don’t feel “enough.” It’s when I forget for a week to respond to the e-mail or text. Or when I do more talking and aren’t there to listen well. Thanks for being with me. It’s encouraging to fight through the internal battle of doubt when I know you are near.
One thing I learned from my moves while growing up, distance can make friendship more difficult. I’ve had to say “goodbye” so many times. My heart kind of melts like pizza cheese so it can stretch the many miles to my best buds far off. I think I have more friends who live far than those who live close. They are both so precious.
Isn’t it funny that us near friends can’t get together as much as we want to? Our schedules don’t show much room for time together. I wonder about that, why friendships sit at the very back. Little glimpses of friendliness help in the bustle, don’t they? The happy wave when someone you know drives past, the quick texts to ask, “how are you?”, or the warm hug as you sit down for a church service.
Though I carry many doubts about how I can be a good friend, I’m so thankful to you for being one great friend to me. You make me grin just thinking about you.
Hugs,
Kassie Joy
