This isn’t going as we planned. My plans were to continue to do extra cooking and add to my growing stock pile of freezer meals. I have windows to clean and carpets to vacuum. I want to do a little spring cleaning before the baby arrives. My husband has handyman jobs stacking up and his list of jobs is growing ever longer. He is eager to log in the hours to keep at our goal of paying off the house this year and keeping the pregnancy-related medical bills paid. But, I have been to the hospital and medical clinic this week with contractions, pain, and concern. I left with a prescription and instructions to keep my feet up. How am I going to cook and clean with my feet up? How is Joel going to work when I can’t chase our kids around the house?
You know this feeling too- when your plans suddenly become derailed and your “to do” list starts to look obsolete? This can happen to us any place: on vacation, during a Tuesday meeting at work, or at the hospital 3.5 weeks before the baby is scheduled to be delivered.
What do we do when our plans crumble? Here are four ideas for you and me:
Take a Deep Breath
There is something rhythmic and reassuring about a few deep breaths. It calms our bodies and helps to hush our minds. We might become flustered or furious (depending on our personality) when things don’t go according to our plan. You know the saying that we can’t control what happens to us, but only how we respond? Oh dear! In many circumstances, that is so true. As you feel the emotions start to get stronger and patience wearing thin, take a deep breath. Focus on your body and take stock of how you are responding. As you breathe, become aware of the inhale and exhale. It’s a simple practice with quick benefits in a frustrating time.
Make a Pivot
When your plans aren’t happening the way you would like, it’s time to make adjustments. Sometimes it is a small pivot. For example, if the makeup line you use stops making your favorite lipstick, you could pivot and find a new color you love. Or the store is out of your habitual purchase of a certain yogurt, can you try the Greek yogurt instead. Sometimes the decision to change is far greater than the concerns of lipstick or yogurt. Sometimes it is concerning a move or another major life change. Being willing to be open to new changes and plans will cause growth and a smoother transition.
Fall Back on Your Routines
There are some things that might be able to stay the same though your nicely crafted plans did not proceed as expected. Do you wake up early and journal? Can you still do this practice? Or do you call your mom each afternoon? How about holding on to this habit? There is comfort in the familiar. Often, even in big change, we can keep some of our helpful habits. These routines help to ground us.
Open Your Hands in an Act of Trust.
Before we go rushing in to fix things, we need to remember we are not in control. If you believe in God’s goodness and rulership, you have the task of trusting Him with what happens in your life. When we feel harried or discouraged from derailed plans, we can know that God wasn’t surprised when we were. He is always good and He is always in control. It helps to say out loud, “God, I trust you. And I surrender this to you.” Knowing His peace during a time of mixed-up plans will keep you steady.
Even our best thought-out plans will need to change. Remembering to breathe, pivot, keep routines, and trust will help you ride the changes with grace. We can do this together.
-Kassie Joy
