Trying to find words to describe the feelings and thoughts I experienced was like trying to wash sand from my son’s hair. It comes out little by little, and you really need to work at it.
My friend and her family came over for supper a few days before I saw her on Sunday. On Sunday she asked how I was doing. Her question was phrased differently than the normal “How are you?” and I struggled to answer. How do I give words to the feelings of heaviness from the craziness of a virus, riots, and elections all in one year? I didn’t know how to give voice to the pressure of a big list of tasks and two small littles to care for at home. My life isn’t tragic or terrible and I didn’t want to sound melodramatic. It’s just hard right now.
We talked. She heard me. She agreed.
How about you? Is life hard right now?
While listening to a podcast the next day, I heard words that named what we are going through. It felt so fitting and timely that I sent it to my friend who I spoke with on Sunday. She listened to it too. The podcast from Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and Morgan Snyder is titled “Constant Uncertainty.” May I share some of what I heard so you might be able to name and speak about the hard time you are going through?
They begin by saying this time we are in is like being a fish in polluted water. My take on this comparison is they meant our normal atmosphere is clouded by something unhealthy for us in some way. (These men wield words in powerful ways. The day I heard them, it ushered in reprieve.)
Then they started talking through a list of states we are experiencing and began by saying, “There’s not much in the tank.”
The list of our current state:
- Mental fragmentation – scattered thoughts
- Diminished reserves
- Diminished capacities to get things done
- Irritability bordering on hostility
- Compassion fatigue (Everywhere you go you hear about people’s fears and troubling news)
What they said next surprised me.
These are symptoms of PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder).
“Every natural disaster carries with it a psychological storm (weight),” they said. The difference with this pandemic from other disasters is that it is world wide and doesn’t have an end point. When a wildfire or hurricane occurs, you know when the danger has passed. They said, “Your heart and mind takes a breath, and can come off high alert.” When the danger is gone, you know it’s safe to rebuild and continue on.
What about the COVID 19 disaster? It isn’t localized. No escaping. No end in sight. They talked about since we don’t know where we are safe, we don’t know when we are safe. So, we lived braced for the next bad news, troubling text, and disturbing story.
Then they continue that we have the racial trauma and political hate to add to this mix.
Their KEY POINT was said next; “The friends of Jesus need to be deliberate with what we do with this…what we are thinking about and where our attention is focused… how we care for our souls.”
Eldredge talked about how Acts 27 recounts how Paul and a crew on a ship are caught in a turbulent storm for weeks. Paul tells the crew they need to take a pause and eat. Eldredge says that Paul told the sailors, “You have been on hypervigilance for 14 days and you need to stop and gather yourselves.” He said that Paul knew it was going to get worse and the men needed to strengthen themselves.
This is taking a toll on all of us. We are all on really low reserves, the podcasters said.
My weary heart agrees completely. Do you feel this toll on your reserves?
The men said what we know to be true, “We have reason to believe that more difficulty is coming. Yet, you and I are not without hope. We have a way to care for our souls.
They transitioned next into talking about caring for and strengthening your union with Jesus.
The popular verse of Philippians 3:14 was mentioned and Eldredge said that he thinks the author could have added one more word. ‘“I can do all things (ONLY) through Christ who strengthens me.” They said, “There is one way to make it. One source of life, strength, and hope.”
We are in the middle of speculating what fall will look like, they said. The energy spent on “is it cancelled or not?” and “shall we plan on it or not?” is growing us weary.
The message they want us to hear and the message I want you to hear: “Eyes on me. Hearts on me. Strengthen your union with me.”
What does this look like?
That is what we will discover next week! Stay tuned.
-Kassie Joy
