Growing up in my family’s home involved road trips and camping vacations. We drove from Michigan to Washington, DC and another time to Yellowstone National Park. To prepare for the many hours in the vehicle, I would search the web for road trip games and printable activities for my siblings and me. One game I found that we enjoyed playing bordered on the ridiculous. It was called “Fortunately/Unfortunately” and can best be explained by example.
Someone would begin and then we would each take a turn.
It might sound like this:
“Unfortunately, there is a tiger behind the back seat in this vehicle right now.”
“Fortunately, he is asleep in a cage.”
“Unfortunately, tiger smuggling is illegal in this state and there is a police car pulling us over.”
“Fortunately, this tiger is deaf and he won’t wake from the siren and light.”
“Unfortunately, I can hear his stomach rumbling and we are fresh out of steak.”
And thus, the game went until we were bored or giggling and then we would start over.
Now, many years after playing silly games in the back seat of our vehicle, I have found a practice that holds hints of this game I used to enjoy. This practice is therapeutic for me because it greatly reduces anxiety and stress in the very moment I need to do something RIGHT NOW. It is also healing- it is teaching me a broader perspective.
I’ve yet to name it, and I wasn’t the creator of the idea. I remember hearing part of the idea from my mom who listened to Dr. John Delony* share it on his radio show. On a day I called her for *HELP!* she suggested I get a notebook and write down all my jumbled thoughts and the things weighing heavy on my heart. I have tweaked the idea a little and want to share how it is now part of my healing journey.
This might sound so simple it leans towards the unnecessary. I thought this too. All you need is a notebook and pen. I like to date the top of the page and then write the heading “Troubling Thoughts.” Then in bullet point style, I scribble down all the things in my mind that I am worried about or that are bothering me. They could be about my personal life or that of a friend or family member. I write quickly and don’t add details or much explanation. It’s helpful for me not to think of these as “bad” or “wrong” thoughts as I write… they are just ones I am pulling from my mind to the page. I write until I feel I am done. That sense normally comes when about 8-12 things are on the page. There isn’t a rule of how many troubling thoughts one is limited to (I have filled a whole page before).
Then, when I have reached a good place to pause, I write below this list a new heading called “Thankful List.” I switch focus and write at least as many things I am grateful for as the items I listed that trouble me. If there are 10 things on my troubled list, there will be 10 things on my thankful list. Again, it isn’t elaborate or fancy. If I am in a difficult day, it might take me twice as long to copy out the thankfulness list.
After I am done, I hold in my hand a picture of what I have been carrying on the inside. This practice relieves the pressure and takes the weight from my mind and places it on the page. It feels like magic.
Then I am done for now. I close the journal and tuck it away… moving about the rest of my day feeling less troubled and a bit lighter.
And a couple hours, days, or weeks later, it will be time to do it again.
I encourage you to give this a couple of good tries. You can write these lists on happy days and hard days. I have found it is really helpful to do it when you don’t want to. (When it sounds dumb or hard.) That’s when pulling out the journal, dating the top, and starting the bullet points is GOLD. It’s those times when your tired or anxious self is searching the cupboard for chocolate, texting a friend in panic, or looking for your earbuds to drown out the thoughts in your head that you can remember: I have another practice.
Start scribbling.
Let me share a secret: if you do this list building for a while, you will gain a whole new perspective. Not only does it relieve, it also reveals.
I have seen:
Some of the troubling thoughts are so very temporary.
Plenty of the old thankful lists still hold true for this day.
Lots of things resolve themselves.
There are repeated thoughts on my list I want to talk to God about (or my husband, mom, mentor).
The more I write bullet point scribbles, the more I heal. And while I heal, I gain perspective. Thus, this practice is helpful in the moment and then continues to be a gift. It’s so very simple it can sound inconsequential. Yet, I have found this practice (though wrapped in guise of easy or unnecessary) is causing me to change towards a truer version of who I want to be. I keep coming back to it because it keeps working.
What do you think of giving it a try?
-Kassie Joy
*Learn more by listening to The Dr. John Delony Show on your podcast app or reading his book Redefining Anxiety.
