Waking up on January first is like stepping out your front door as a child to a fresh snowfall. The entire yard is white- a clear invitation for snow boot tracks and snow angels. So much potential! Perhaps the first of the year is an arbitrary date, yet to me it feels like a time to begin afresh. The first day of the year is an opportunity to list and dream of what you are committing to. It’s also a time to trash the negative behaviors that snuck into your lifestyle.
What happens when we flip two calendar pages and come to the middle of March? By this time in the year, our resolutions might be forgotten like the melting snow. What we were so hopeful to begin or accomplish at the start of the year is now ignored in the busyness of the everyday load of work. This occurrence takes place most years in my personal experience. It can be disheartening and dreadfully disappointing. So, this year I am trying a new tactic.
In the last post, I wrote about this being a year where my overarching theme is rest. I decided instead of only making a bunch of large goals, I would focus on what I do daily. Though I want to someday run a marathon, this wasn’t the year to make that a new year’s resolution. However, it is the year to move everyday and strengthen my body. I will be running, but the focus won’t be an end goal but the day-to-day habit. I have other “marathon size” goals too, but my question is: What small habits can I do today that will grow me for my tomorrow?
This switch from focusing on large goals to my everyday habits gave me the opportunity to observe how I spend my time. I am realizing that my daily decisions are important. The ten minutes spent at one task is ten minutes I said no to the other ones. The knowledge that I choose what my habits are makes me realize I do create my days.
I link the idea of habit formation and rest because good habits create a sense of order, routine, and sameness. Those three peacemakers help me to live the adventure of life with some predictability. With plenty of unknowns, it is restful to know there are things I can expect from myself.
I read two insightful, bestselling books on habits (that I will tell you about shortly) and have spent brainpower deciding how to incorporate the new information into my daily details. I decided to begin with little things. I made a list of tasks I want to do daily but often overlook. For example, I repeatedly met the problem of not having thawed meat when the dinner hour drew near. I can make a great meal plan and shop for all necessary ingredients, but why couldn’t I remember to take the ground beef out of the freezer? I decided to list each day of the week, and under the Sunday through Saturday headings, I wrote the same six things I wanted to do daily. I wrote on my list “thaw supper meat.” It has worked! Not only am I remembering to thaw meat, but I know to read to Mitch, and wash a load of laundry.
In James Clear’s book Atomic Habits, he writes about the power of small changes. He says, “The difference a tiny improvement can make over time is astounding. Here’s how the math works out: if you can get 1 percent better each day for one year, you’ll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you’re done.” The little things you do every day add up to major results! It is motivating to me to know that reading three small board books to my son each day is important. Or exercising for fifteen minutes in the morning will get me results I desire.
I want my daily habits to reflect the person I am becoming. I want to be a great homemaker, so I have habits like “do a load of laundry” and “thaw supper meat”. I desire to encourage a love of learning in my children, so I have the habit of reading to my children each day. A healthy body is important to me, so I have habits like take vitamins and exercise. My spiritual habits are growing me too and I am establishing a habit of sitting by a lighted candle when everyone has gone to bed and writing out a prayer or reading some scripture.
For me it’s delicious to start a habit and distasteful to keep at it. After the beginner’s high (I think I made that up) wears off, I must continue the habit. I have learned I am a queen of excuses. When I read Gretchen Rubin’s book on habits called Better Than Before, I found a chapter on Loophole-Spotting. I knew I was a loophole professional. She writes, “Even when we are deeply committed to a good habit, even when we enjoy that habit, we’re often seeking possible justifications to excuse ourselves from it … just this once.” She lists ten common loopholes and two from the list were part of my common practice. She wrote about the tomorrow loophole and “One-Coin” Loophole. The tomorrow loophole is when we think, “Now doesn’t matter, because we’re going to follow good habits tomorrow.” In my mind this thought might look like, I will eat vegetables with supper, it’s okay if I skip eating them with lunch. Or: I will do a house pick-up after supper and won’t put our coats, hats, and shoes away right now. In the “One-Coin” loophole she explains “even though one coin certainly isn’t sufficient to make a man rich, a man only becomes rich by adding one coin after another….it’s clear that any one instance of an action is almost meaningless; yet at the same time, the sum of those actions is very meaningful.” For this reason, I will tell myself that it isn’t important to do one habit when the results seem nonexistent for several days. I convinced myself this time doesn’t matter and I feel justified.
However, the power in what you do each day is strong. No matter how little the results seem when you perform the habit. Clear says, “The real reason habits matter is not because they can get you better results (although they can do that), but because they can change your beliefs about yourself.” When you cook everyday, you know you are a cook. When you have the habit of writing, you are a writer. The same goes for praying, housekeeping, saving, and learning. What you do everyday is who you are/become. Clear says, “Your outcomes are a lagging measure of your habits. Your net worth is a lagging measure of your financial habits. Your weight is a lagging measure of your eating habits. Your knowledge is a lagging measure of your learning habits. Your clutter is a lagging measure of your cleaning habits. You get what you repeat.”
What a positive truth. You only have to do a little, steady habit to be the person you want to be. The little things we do each day are very important. The choices we pick build up evidence for who we are becoming. To me, being a writer is more important than writing a successful blog. Being a runner holds more weight than running a marathon. And so on. Its restful (refreshing) to know my daily tasks are important. When I stop creating loopholes and stick to my habits, the changes and results I crave are forming. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to exercise and pull meat out of the freezer.
